


selfish together

by antisocialite



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, POV Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Recreational Drug Use, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:20:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29145816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antisocialite/pseuds/antisocialite
Summary: “Full moon tonight. Not that your shit-faced self could make it out.”Historia smiles into Ymir’s neck before raising her head up, staring at the white orb in the sky. She's seen it countless times before, but it feels like she's never fully appreciated it until now. It looks ever so warm against the endless blue.The two of them have been through a lot together, haven't they?
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss & Ymir, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53





	selfish together

How did Historia even get to this point— stoned out of her mind and half drunk in her friend’s kitchen, getting clumsily hit on by somebody she barely knows?

“So when’d you start the whole cheerleading thing?” he asks.

She nods in response.

It doesn't seem to phase him, as he continues babbling on about something. She couldn't tell you what, though. Her remaining attention is focused on looking around hazily, searching for somebody familiar to take her out of this painfully awkward situation, but every face in the room belongs to a stranger.

She's not sure what on earth prompted it, but suddenly the random dude is leaning in and yup, he's definitely going for a kiss. Without even thinking, she fully extends her arm, palm pushing his face away in one swift motion. She grabs herself a second can of beer from the counter and walks away, chugging it down to mentally reset.

Back in the basement, she melts into the couch with her eyes trained on whatever is flashing on the TV.

“Hey, loser.”

Historia hears these words, but doesn't process them. Her attention is captivated by the colors on the screen.

The couch sinks slightly as the weight of an additional person presses down on the cushions. They wave a hand in front of Historia’s face, breaking her free from the trance. Something warm spreads in Historia’s chest at the sight of Ymir’s face. Still, she pouts, “Ymir… you abandoned me."

Ymir flicks her forehead, to which Historia screeches slightly and holds it in pain. “You’re the one who asked me to leave, remember?”

Well, no. Historia did not remember.

“Why would I ever want that!” she exclaims.

“You said you wanted to socialize. Meet new people or some shit,” Ymir says with a shrug. 

“I lied.”

Ymir’s eyebrows furrow slightly. “Have you been drinking?”

Historia nods. “Two beers.”

Ymir leans in quickly, but to Historia it's in slow motion, and as she gets closer and closer Historia’s heart pounds faster and faster in her chest. But she doesn't push her away.

“And smoking?” Ymir says with a sniff, and the whole ordeal was over as quickly as it began. Historia’s heart still needs a moment to calm down, though.

“Well?” Ymir asks with a raised eyebrow.

Oh. Historia forgot to nod.

“Yeah. Connie,” she offers as an explanation, and that's enough for Ymir to get the jist of it.

Ymir disappears for a moment with a promise of return, and a few moments later she makes good on that promise, returning with an nearly burnt out joint. It was probably the most anyone was willing to hand off.

“Can't have you high all by yourself, can we?” Ymir asks with a smirk, and that sentiment makes Historia’s heart feel full. Ymir comes across as crude, but it's just because she’s honest to a fault. Historia knows how caring she truly is. Maybe it's selfish to want all of it to herself, but every time Ymir lets her copy homework or buys her a bag of chips as they pass the vending machine, Historia can't help but feel happy she's somehow special to Ymir.

In the passing minutes, Ymir takes occasional drags from the joint with her eyes trained on the TV. Despite the fact that Historia was enthralled with the program before, all she can do now is study how Ymir’s hair frames her face, how the strands tickle her freckled cheeks slightly, and all those freckles that sit on her sun-kissed skin.

Historia isn't an idiot. She knows what she feels for Ymir isn't just normal friendship. But it would never happen. All those jokes about getting married are so obviously jokes that it would be sad if Historia delusioned herself with them.

Well, suddenly she’s feeling delusional.

In one swift motion, she leans over and kisses Ymir. She forgot to look at her face, or maybe she subconsciously avoided it, afraid of a bad reaction.

It was only for a moment of contact, but she tries to remember every detail of how it felt. Her lips weren't all that soft. In fact, they were a bit chapped, but it’s so in character for Ymir that Historia can only find it endearing.

Ymir looks at her wide eyed for a second before turning her attention back to the TV. She reaches for the remote and flips through the channels.

“Aw sick, Dora and Diego crossover episode,” Ymir cheers jokingly.

Historia scoots over closer to Ymir, curling up against her side slightly. “It's not a crossover episode if Go-Diego-Go was a spin-off in the first place.”

The cloudiness in her brain hasn't let her come to terms with the fact that the kiss earlier was essentially rejected. Ymir remains nonchalant though, slinging an arm around Historia’s shoulders to pull her in closer.

“Why does Boots… look like that…” Historia asks sleepily.

“You're drunk,” Ymir says simply, and she ruffles Historia’s hair. Historia hates how platonic that just felt.

“Only two beers.”

“And you’re high.”

“So?”

Ymir stands up. Historia frowns at the loss of contact, but smiles once more when she sees Ymir offering her a piggyback ride, which she graciously accepts. Up the steps, through the chaos of the party, and out the door into the cold night, Historia keeps her eyes shut, face nestled into Ymir’s neck. Her warmth and her scent are reassuring, and her brown hair tickles Historia’s freckle-less face.

It's so comfortable that Historia forgets to care about where they’re going until a breeze makes her shiver.

“Full moon tonight. Not that your shit-faced self could make it out.”

Historia smiles into Ymir’s neck before raising her head up, staring at the white orb in the sky. She's seen it countless times before, but it feels like she's never fully appreciated it until now. It looks ever so warm against the endless blue.

The two of them have been through a lot together, haven't they?

When Historia’s parents split, Ymir was there to help every step of the way, and she never sugarcoated the ugly truths of it all. She also told Historia about herself. How her parents abandoned her at a young age, chucking her in an orphanage to be adopted.

Historia buries her face in the crook of Ymir’s neck once more, and holds on as tightly as she can.

The next morning, Historia wakes up in her bed at home with last night’s moon still on her mind. She absentmindedly checks her phone, when her blood runs cold at the sight of one missed call. Fearing it’s from her parents who were curious of her whereabouts last night, she braces herself as she taps it. Thankfully, it's only from Sasha. She’d followed up with a text asking where Historia went, then said she hopes she enjoyed herself. Historia types out a quick reply and apologizes for answering so late. Scrolling through her text history absentmindedly, she quickly happens upon Ymir’s name, and memories of last night come rushing back. Historia does her best not to physically cringe.

God, why did she think it was a good idea to kiss her best friend? No, that's exactly the problem: she didn't think at all, and she got totally friend zoned in the end. Not only that but she ended up being the one forcing a kiss on someone who didn't want it. She wants to apologize, but maybe it would be better to pretend she can't remember anything…

Historia idly wonders if she somehow fell asleep on Ymir’s back, and if Ymir walked the whole way to Historia’s house with the added weight. Now she just wants to thank Ymir for helping her out again, though. Ymir really is too damn nice for her own good.

With an audible groan, Historia wills herself out of bed, taking a shower and brushing the stench of alcohol out of her mouth. She checks her phone again. The rest of her Sunday goes about the same, anxiously awaiting some type of repercussion for yesterday’s inappropriate actions, but nothing arrives. Well, it's unavoidable tomorrow. She’ll have to see Ymir and no doubt Ymir will ask what was up.

Except, that didn't happen. Ymir showed up to drive her to school like normal, and all she did was vent about her teammates on the basketball team the whole drive. It was completely ordinary, which set Historia even further on edge. After school they even stayed together in the library like normal, sat at their usual place next to the window facing the front of the school so they can point out people boarding the busses and make asinine comments about where they knew certain kids from, what they’d heard about them. Stupid stuff like that. Except, Historia didn't feel in the mood today, so Ymir did most of the talking.

Sitting in the passenger side of Ymir’s car as she rehashed the plot of some show she’d just finished watching is when Historia finally broke. “I'm sorry for kissing you,” she blurts out, cutting Ymir off mid sentence.

Ymir pauses, the two sitting in an unbearable silence for a second. “So you do remember,” she says.

“Yeah…” Historia admits, “I was waiting for you to bring it up.”

“Well,” Ymir says nonchalantly, “It’s not a big deal, don’t sweat it. I know your tiny body couldn't handle two drinks.”

“Right,” Historia agrees with a forced chuckle.

The rest of the drive is… normal. Ymir continues talking about her show, and Historia tries to be an engaged listener until they pull into Historia’s driveway.

“See you tomorrow?”

Ymir nods.

Historia unbuckles her seatbelt and grabs her backpack, but just as she’s about to step out of the car Ymir catches her by the wrist. “Wait,” she says, “Remember when we first met?” Instead of answering, Historia just sits down.

“Sasha was in the principal’s office after the Shadis incident and you snuck her half your lunch. I was there too, and I belittled you for trying to do something good for someone else.”

Oh yeah, that's right. After they became friends Historia had almost forgotten.

“I've always been a liar. I lied to get out of gym class. I lied about why I didn't do homework. I lied to myself a lot, too. About why my parents left.” Ymir lets go of Historia’s wrist. “I promised myself I would stop lying and be as selfish as I wanted,” Ymir admits. “That's why I got on your case about the Sasha thing. You reminded me of myself…" she looks right into Historia's eyes. "And then you made me break both of my rules,” she finishes with a slight chuckle.

Historia reaches out, cupping Ymir’s cheek. She looks at her face, honest and genuine, before leaning in slower than before, and pressing her lips to Ymir's once again.

“I'm selfish too,” she says with a smile. Ymir smiles back and pulls Historia in for yet another kiss. It's longer this time as the two experiment with moving their lips against each other's.

Suddenly, Historia starts giggling.

“What?"

“I can't believe I thought you might be straight…” she says. Ymir smacks her head lightly, but she’s smiling too.

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this is my first actual finished fic so thank you for reading. i'm pretty new to writing and it means a lot. 
> 
> ymir tries to live selfishly in the walls to balance out the selfless act which turned her into a mindless titan in the first place: sacrificing herself to save the people who worshipped her. but she fails in the end. she's too grateful for having been given a second chance- for having met historia, so in the end she sacrifices herself once again to pay back reiner and bertholdt, because if she never ate their friend she would have stayed a mindless titan. if ymir was truly living for herself she would have stayed with historia, but she can't help doing what she believes is right. when they first met historia was feeding sasha bread, and ymir belittles historia by saying "i guess you're just trying to do something good" but she's speaking from experience. that's when ymir realized they were the same. and in the end, when ymir left historia knowing she would die, she was also just trying to do something good. aaaaa fuck, sorry. ymir is my favorite character, and i hope just a little of i said here shows in this story
> 
> also i have an idea for a fic that would take place in the same universe as this one, but it would be a lot longer so I still need to organize my thoughts on that. I'd prefer to write the whole thing and then release it chapter by chapter once i'm done to ensure the pacing is perfect, but i know if i do that i'll keep tweaking things and never be satisfied. it would probably be an erejean fic. i'll be honest, i don't even ship erejean but their dynamic just has so much potential in a high school au lol. eren would prob be an angry skater boy. it would be way more divergent from canon personalities tho. well, we'll see. it's a struggle. might be fun tho


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